The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
