he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize