as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
