Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
