Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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