You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize