worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
