His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
