the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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