careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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