So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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