I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Pooping to opera.
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