Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
