I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
