I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
