Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Someone came in the potted fern
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
