May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
