dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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