we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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