I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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