It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
