Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
