So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
