I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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