Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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