I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize