How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
