I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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