We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
