dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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