We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
