Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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