I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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