my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
