So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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