Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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