I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
