Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
