no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
