Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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