My room smells like vodka and shame
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
