i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
