My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
