he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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