if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
