hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize