please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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