WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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