I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
