Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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