Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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