Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
