I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
