Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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