i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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