so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
