You smell like stripper and shame
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize