I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
