My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
