Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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