he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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