We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
