you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
